i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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