i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
