Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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