I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
