she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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