I wannas sexs uuuuu
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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