Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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