Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
