what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
