I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
