I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
