he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
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