You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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