he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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