the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
