Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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