Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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