I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize