I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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