ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
