Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
