But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
last night I used snow as a chaser
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