I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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