It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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