You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
