he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
She's the barista slut.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
So squirting runs in the family.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
It's rum buckets o'clock
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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