Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize