I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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