white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize