Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm too high and old for this...
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
