I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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