Texts From Last Night

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  (646): View more from New York

  he just put it in my mouth and said "go"

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  (646): he just put it in my mouth and said "go" http://tfl.nu/nvzb
  Replies (64) Good night (2500) Bad night (5183)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands

  (713): View more from Texas

  When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things

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  (979): You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands (713): When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things http://tfl.nu/2j2p
  Replies (28) Good night (5438) Bad night (861)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame

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  (914): Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame http://tfl.nu/j5ak
  Replies (9) Good night (2740) Bad night (1169)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.

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  (706): Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks. http://tfl.nu/8xp5
  Replies (1) Good night (2575) Bad night (686)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.

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  (618): some guy just burried his vomit in the sand. http://tfl.nu/hqvi
  Replies (7) Good night (1255) Bad night (928)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.

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  (717): It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards. http://tfl.nu/wgpg
  Replies (2) Good night (1712) Bad night (557)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.

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  (701): Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically. http://tfl.nu/syut
  Replies (4) Good night (610) Bad night (1269)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents

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  (814): the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents http://tfl.nu/oebu
  Replies (3) Good night (1868) Bad night (566)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds

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  (603): a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds http://tfl.nu/ayni
  Replies (16) Good night (1172) Bad night (854)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.

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  (724): You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking. http://tfl.nu/bbzn
  Replies (2) Good night (940) Bad night (383)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"

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  (281): You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike" http://tfl.nu/m449
  Replies (1) Good night (1249) Bad night (357)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.

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  (405): yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt. http://tfl.nu/yslp
  Replies (6) Good night (1109) Bad night (453)
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  (310): View more from California

  Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on

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  (310): Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on http://tfl.nu/xhhi
  Replies (2) Good night (784) Bad night (429)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.

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  (+61): He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour. http://tfl.nu/sn8w
  Replies (1) Good night (186) Bad night (467)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment

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  (570): So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here (1-570): Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment http://tfl.nu/lwx4
  Replies (1) Good night (396) Bad night (169)

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