Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?

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(207): I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal? http://tfl.nu/y7ty

Replies (9) Good night (732) Bad night (816)
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(325): View more from Texas

wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"

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(325): wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah" http://tfl.nu/d8s5

Replies (100) Good night (7614) Bad night (60989)
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(970): View more from Colorado

Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....

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(970): Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning..... http://tfl.nu/nrjr

Replies (16) Good night (2013) Bad night (5080)
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(314): View more from Missouri

So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?

(816): View more from Missouri

Most never. Some around 65.

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(314): So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title? (816): Most never. Some around 65. http://tfl.nu/dvz5

Replies (22) Good night (2319) Bad night (763)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Four. Poor grandma...

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(403): I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught. (403): Four. Poor grandma... http://tfl.nu/klxl

Replies (15) Good night (1392) Bad night (5738)
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(206): View more from Washington

Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.

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(206): Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week. http://tfl.nu/twaw

Replies (44) Good night (5341) Bad night (1508)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage

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(724): Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage http://tfl.nu/yt67

Replies (19) Good night (3216) Bad night (1080)
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(216): View more from Ohio

When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.

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(216): When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning. http://tfl.nu/aoha

Replies (3) Good night (3917) Bad night (950)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"

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(859): in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick" http://tfl.nu/v34k

Replies (18) Good night (4883) Bad night (1068)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.

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(717): I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink. http://tfl.nu/gbhu

Replies (3) Good night (1074) Bad night (633)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest

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(612): Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest http://tfl.nu/v0jn

Replies (4) Good night (827) Bad night (615)
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(310): View more from California

True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?

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(310): True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant? http://tfl.nu/aiag

Replies (6) Good night (1128) Bad night (1712)
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(720): View more from Colorado

I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.

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(720): I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped. http://tfl.nu/6z5g

Replies (4) Good night (326) Bad night (757)
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(404): View more from Georgia

I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."

(404): View more from Georgia

That's how I look going for the pbr.

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(404): I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there." (404): That's how I look going for the pbr. http://tfl.nu/2uqj

Replies (11) Good night (903) Bad night (293)
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(614): View more from Ohio

You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"

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(614): You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining" http://tfl.nu/17du

Replies (1) Good night (516) Bad night (289)

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