sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.