Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.

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  (323): I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village. http://tfl.nu/cmft
  Replies (16) Good night (5414) Bad night (640)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.

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  (305): I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind. http://tfl.nu/8l0m
  Replies (57) Good night (12407) Bad night (990)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.

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  (319): I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone. http://tfl.nu/bot7
  Replies (9) Good night (3250) Bad night (563)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Everybody was literally kung fu fighting

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  (803): Everybody was literally kung fu fighting http://tfl.nu/75ca
  Replies (33) Good night (10583) Bad night (900)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.

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  (954): It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life. http://tfl.nu/v7co
  Replies (10) Good night (686) Bad night (3614)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples

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  (610): I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples http://tfl.nu/ak9g
  Replies (4) Good night (2486) Bad night (734)
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  (716): View more from New York

  just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night

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  (716): just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night http://tfl.nu/yn86
  Replies (11) Good night (3841) Bad night (1250)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying

  (1-631): View more from New York

  Oh good your over him

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  (631): Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying (1-631): Oh good your over him http://tfl.nu/vmmt
  Replies (10) Good night (1529) Bad night (783)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?

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  (513): Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done? http://tfl.nu/t5qr
  Replies (13) Good night (2799) Bad night (961)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life

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  (219): googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life http://tfl.nu/fhns
  Replies (2) Good night (535) Bad night (1201)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.

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  (469): HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK. http://tfl.nu/uhfo
  Replies (5) Good night (1400) Bad night (518)
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  (916): View more from California

  We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate

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  (916): We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate http://tfl.nu/nz9m
  Replies (6) Good night (1730) Bad night (366)
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  (562): View more from California

  So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch

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  (562): So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch http://tfl.nu/gm5w
  Replies (8) Good night (742) Bad night (256)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.

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  (913): She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor. http://tfl.nu/4jux
  Replies (1) Good night (578) Bad night (206)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.

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  (816): Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question. http://tfl.nu/xpn9
  Replies (0) Good night (451) Bad night (247)

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