The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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