I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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