in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
