Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I will pee on everything he values.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
