Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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