Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize