Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
