fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Randomize
