I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
