eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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