so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
being pregnant is like rehab
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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