You're completely useless in the revolution.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Randomize
