fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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