Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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