well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
