He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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