I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
