jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
