okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I got inside last night via doggy door
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
