bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
