They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
