I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
