i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
