you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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