he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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