that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
