Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
