you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
