Having a random hookup so left but love u
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
