i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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