Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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