super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
